Words Unspoken - MedicxReader

The crisp cold air prickled my skin as it curled through the small open gap in the window; blazing contrasts of warmth hit my covered eyelids as the sun pierced through the morning dew and condensation on the glass; slipping through my fingers as I tried to block it’s stunning light from waking me, but stubbornly my small efforts were to no avail. The repeated morning routine began again for the countless amount of days I had spent here, almost becoming second nature as I pushed against my face and rubbed through my drained half-asleep expression.
A small bundle of fresh clothes emptied to my feet as I opened the wonky cupboard door, it wasn’t like there was much time to clean them let alone hang them properly but there was enough to make a complete outfit at least for today.
I turned towards the rusting mirror in the corner and fumbled about with the shirt over my head, almost getting stuck as I tried to push an arm through the collar hole, not the smartest thing but then again I wasn’t exactly concentrating.
Aside from the early morning wake, I had spent hours delaying rest as I lay on my crumpled bed muttering quietly to myself. It’s not like I could stop my heart from feeling… But the inconvenience and new bias to the team members made it unideal to keep entertaining the childish crush; more than once I had taken time into the night to argue with myself over the feelings and coy conversing when it came to being near Medic and more than often needing him for medical purposes... I guess, in a way, it made me more efficient in trying not to fall victim to the other team, but at the same time it also made me less aware and consequently voided the achievement; It was hard to be a team player when cooperating with medic made you forget the entire situation, especially as he seemed to be next to me more and more throughout each battle.
I groaned and laughed simultaneously at the circumstance as I checked my attire one last time, adjusting the edge of my shirt before picking up and shoving the pile of fallen clothes back into their designated storage space.



The break room was awash with tired eyes that gazed unaware to myself as I sat amongst them and echoed their efforts not to fall asleep; if anything could have given me a wake up call, it was my heart twisting as Medic came through into the sea of drained faces. I tried not to make any expression as the feeling pulled down within me and made my physical body feel non-existent but my palm covered my face as I caught my instincts trying to catch his eye. This was not the time nor the moment to be fooling with passion, and I knew full well the outcome of executing anything in blind desire was always more than often bad in the end.
My elbows banged heavily on the table as I slumped forwards into my caging hands and felt my breath surround my face in a cloud of moist warmth as I exhaled and groaned.
A sharp hand hit my shoulder as a gesture of comfort came from the teammate next to me, “Com’on now, ya’ll should be getting’ hyped not hibernatin’.” I move my hand from my face and let it fall in front of me as I chuckled under my breath and looked to Engie with my face still half squished in my hand,
A soft smile drew on my lips, “it’s not... that…” I sighed, entwining my fingers in my hair as I moved my hand up to hold my forehead. My eyes flickered up towards Medic as he sat down at the opposite corner of the dented table, “...I guess it is.” A disheartened laugh muffled through my chest as I attempted to overlook my downfall and be friendly towards the man…



Preparing in the spawn room, it stank heavily of morning coffee and washing powder, the same as it did everyday as we waited for the battle to commence, taking our stances as we riled ourselves up and got in our efficient mindsets... All apart from me.
As I readied my weapons and quickly stretched my neck from it’s previously awkward posture, I found Medic taking position barely an inch away from me. I couldn’t help but clamp down on my teeth as he greeted me as per usual, and smiled, so sweetly, shattering any temporary hold I had on my heart. I hoped I didn’t look odd as I screamed on the inside and frantically gathered up the pieces in myself. “Medic. I hope it’s not faulty.” I gestured towards the bulky medi-gun he held between his hands.
“It vaz one time. I really don’t see vhy you have to taunt me in zhis vay.” His humoured expression looked at me disapprovingly as I smiled and felt the rush of warm blood curling into my cheeks.
“Sure, sure. You’re lucky it didn’t just kill everyone.” I bit my lip as I laughed and tried not to make eye contact with the cheery and unimpressed Doctor.
“Agh. Just focus.”

Medic’s thick accent followed me round the battlefield as I pushed with the others, but for a reason I can’t explain I felt like he was beside me for almost every second. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate his presence, a part of me wanted it more than anything, but we seemed to be losing efficiency because of it…
As we all returned to point I found myself gathering up the courage to direct him, telling him to hold back with Heavy as we scoured the battlefield for unguarded ways into the enemy base, but the expression he gave me tore a wound in my heart. He held so much discomfort from my words but the expression I saw snapped back to hide whatever had distressed him. However, the look had already engrained itself within my mind and now kept me sealed in a bout of guilt that pulled my concentration from reality as I took one of the discreet entrances into the enemy base. It was a reckless move as the sound of my feet echoing in the hallway crept further and further into the hostile distance but I was too trapped in my own thoughts to even notice it’s possibilities.
The rust stained walls and tall doorways skimmed my vision as I saw my team advancing up ahead, but in my mindless daydreaming I had fallen behind, running in a dark hallway filled with the sounds of my own harsh breath and stride as I ran to keep up.
This was my fatal decision. If I had accepted the distance and scanned my situation in more detail I wouldn’t have felt the solid butt of the gun hit the back of my head and force me down onto the ungiving floor…
The sounds became muffled as the pain shook through my head; my hands curled against the ground and tried to push my weight up before I felt a stiff foot pin down on my back. In the corner of my eye the dark tunnel end of a gun barrel aimed itself directly above my head as I snarled towards the face of death.
The gunshot pierced the still air, flooding the hallways in echoes as blood sprayed itself on the surrounding floor... I watched the bullet flatten itself into the ground next to me; the pressure on my back tumbling forward as the assailant folded over with a heavy gash and warm crimson pouring from his shoulder.
Medic flung himself over me, reddened bone saw in hand as he pulled me away from the groaning mercenary and continued to pierce the man over and over again... His body had no time to twitch as the Doctor took his life, holding himself there for a minute to make sure the man would not cause any more harm to me…
As I shuffled myself and rubbed the bruise on my head I felt Medic’s hand touching over mine, the adrenaline and shock of the closeness made me flinch and almost slap him away as I blushed, but instead of being glad or thanking him, I felt angry… Angry that he hadn’t been with the others and listened to what I'd said...
“Are you okay?” Medic ask hurriedly, crouched in front of me as he gently touched the back of my head.
“What are you doing here…” I managed as my spotted vision finally came to rest in his shocking eyes.
He seemed only concerned if I was shot, no matter how many times I was able to ask him the question… he always avoided the answer…
Perhaps it was for cognitive reasons...



When we got back to base he never left my side, no matter how many times I said I was fine... The other team members were getting edgy as well; Medic’s disobedience had cost them the entire battle and left everyone to get slaughtered as he carried me uncomfortably back to the spawn room; I dared not even ask or look at myself in any reflections, I was already embarrassed enough that i didn’t want to see how red my cheeks had gone as they swelled in his presence. “Why.” I asked, for the umpteenth time, still pressing for an answer as he looked everywhere but my eyes as they pressed for him.
“Zat is not a question for now.” He spoke hurriedly keeping any time with the others to a minimum as he tended to my non existant wounds.
“This is so awkward-“ I groaned cutting myself off as he looked to me confused, “What is a question for now?” I tried, attempting to get myself the upper hand.
“Vhy is zhis awkward for you?” He muttered back with the same cheekiness I had expressed to him earlier in spawn.
A stained groan pulled through my lips as I realised I’d doomed myself and would never get anything out of him in this state, not now...
His eyes shot through mine as I looked back to him, clearing my mind of any answer I could have been able to compile and laugh off; my silence only made things worse as I shuffled and pulled my legs closer, “Has zhe situation turned?” He smirked, looking smug as I avoided the answer.
I hadn’t even realised the others had gone until I heard their voices softly in the distance and looked up to where I had seen them just a few minutes prior… “If you answer my question, i’ll answer yours…” I said daringly, waiting to see his expression as I brought an ultimatum to the table.
Medic hesitated, fumbling round in silence as he thought on the exchange; his usually calm and joyous demeanour now withdrawn and cold towards me as my gaze wavered in his demeanor…
“Okay.”
I’m not sure whether I wanted him to agree, but I had to admit something to him at one point or another in my odd life… so why not now…

“I don’t like seeing you by yourself… No one should be alone. Especially you…”
My brow raised slightly at his words. What was so special about me?… That he would ruin our chances at winning and allow himself to be alienated by the rest of the team?...
“Fick…” he muttered, obviously uneasy at my silence giving a need to explain… “You.. You’re someone I don’t vant to leave behind… -Now vhy are you awkward, tell me.”

“... ...Because you’re more than just a doctor when you’re close to me…” My heart escaped through my mouth, leaving me hiding myself as we both realised the extent of the situation.

“...You mean…”



“...Yes...”

Medic's hand brushed slowly over mine as he gripped it and waited for me to meet with his eyes…

His lips grazed gently across my own as they did…
Meeting with equal passion as we pressed together and tore reality from each other's infatuated minds...